Being on the wrong side of 40, what I struggle with on a daily basis is the fine line between being content versus being in a comfort zone. I have been accused more than once as not seeming to have enough ambition. While the Zen gurus will ask you to aim for the former, the go getters will perhaps chide you for being less ambitious.
But is this really an all or nothing statement. My thought experiments on this subject have been the fuel of many daydreams.
2020 ofcourse did give me plenty of time to introspect in broad daylight in the comfort of my own home. If nothing else, the pandemic did give me and perhaps a lot of people a very clear picture on how little it took to survive on a day to day basis and therefore what true contentment would really seemlike.
The time to introspect did remind me of this poem- “Leisure” by William Henry Davies that I read in school. The true meaning of which is only sinking in after decades. The open line of the poem reads as below
“What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare”
Leisure- by William Henry Davies
Ironically 2020 gave me plenty of time to stand and stare. I did really try to examine my life on the scale of contentment. Some of my most happiest moments during the pandemic including sipping on a cup of tea and watching the Mumbai rains from my balcony, playing ludo with my daughter, making not so difficult meals in the kitchen (read maggi) for the family. It was all life’s simple pleasures.
I then also got thinking – is contentment really that bad? I was able to derive a sense of internal calm from just a few basic life necessities and relationships. I also began to question myself whether it was necessary to set scorching pace records on the hedonic treadmill.
All my expensive clothes, watches, ties, suits and shoes remained unused. I was unable to derive any intrinsic pleasure from these items. I realised that the only pleasure from these items were largely external. It was either a vanity goal or seeking appreciation or envious glances of peers.
If there was one expensive item that did actually help us – it was Technology and the various devices areound the house were put to great use. The laptop, ipad and the phone played a huge role in being the enablers in keeping us connected to the external social fabric and framework. Probably this was one areas where I could truly say money well spent.
Technology enabled us to do things remotely which we had hitherto never imagined. Organizations and Managers who would be so reluctant at letting someone work from home earlier citing control and productivity issues have now seen first hand results with this cliched “New Normal” way of doing things.
So what did all this teach me?
I realised than being content and grateful didnt require too many external and material things. At least for me personally – I’ve come to a realisation that happiness is more important than achievement. In fact – remembering what Naval Ravikant said in one his podcast interviews resonates with me even more. Peace and not even happiness is the goal. Real happiness is a side effect of peace.
If you can therefore be grateful for what you have – knowing that it is more than what you need – you can be at peace and with that be happy on most days of your life.
Ok – so does that mean – I should quit my job and spend all day with family and be “content” with life as an end goal. Ofcourse the more I thought about it , I realised there is more to it than just being grateful.
In addition to being grateful, I also need, sorry – scratch that, also want to be useful to society and grow as a person.
This brings me to the second part of my thought experiment. While being content with our current state of affairs – can’t we still go about our work doing the best we can and learning and improving each day – without being overtly worried about excesses.
Where this particular question came from is seeing a whole bunch of friends cross over to the field of entreprenuership. So did that mean, if I didnt want to become an entreprenuer – I am not truly ambitious or I am not stepping out of my comfort zone?
I dont think I have a clear answer to the question but i do struggle with this aspect a lot.
I am lucky to have a job that is very entreprenuerial and does give me significant flexibility to behave like an entreprenuer. But there is the safety of the monthly paycheck – which is perhaps the opium of the massess as a wise man once said. Does that however mean that unless I become a true blue entreprenuer, I am stuck in the comfort zone and therefore doomed to unhappiness.
As with answers to most of life’s questions, I think the answer to that is
IT DEPENDS
It depends on what I am doing is bordering on complacency on is coming from finding my own niche. Personally for the me, the goal is always to find an area where I’d like to improve – So if I keep improving in different areas of my life and keep adding value to the marketplace and at the same time not attaching my personal esteem/ego to it – cant I still be operating outside my comfort zone and making marginal increments. Being outside the comfort zone, in my humble opinion doesn’t mean, only doing your own personal gig.
Yes – it might not be a dent in the universe or a rocket to Mars – but are those the only barometers of achievement? In my mind – if I am able to make a difference even in the life of 20 people who work with me – it’s a very satisfactory outcome. If I can instill in them a similar desire to pay it forward – it will make some positive change in the world. Not every achievement has to end with a blue verified tick on twitter or a gong at the NYSE. If you have lived for more than yourself and family and made a difference to even a single human being -I think you have made a scratch in the fabric of the universe.
So what if you don’t make a dent – scratches count too. It keeps coming back to the same basic tenet – Who defines your success? This is something that I was fortunate to learn a long time ago – that it’s completely personal. You are the one who decides what success means to you. Society will keep having definitions about outer success. But the inner scorecard is more important. If you have ticked all the boxes on your inner score card – you are a successful person and you will have peace at heart.
In the end can you be a person who is content with his life, not complacent yet has a modicum of ambition.
As I said earlier – IT DEPENDS. It depends on what you want from life and how you define your own contentment, complacency and ambition.
